Ten more phrases that will never be used to describe me (the original list is here):

  • He referred to friends as “peeps.”
  • He often spoke of the pompatus of love.
  • He wished more foods included cilantro in their ingredients.
  • He regularly turned heads with his impeccable fashion choices.
  • He regretted not listening to more bagpipe music.
  • He was this close to being inducted into the roller derby hall of fame.
  • He enjoyed spending his free time on plumbing and auto repairs.
  • He was jealous of Boxcar Willie being named America’s Favorite Hobo.
  • He would have been a masterful interior designer.
  • He lived to surf.