My snarky observations while watching the Democratic debate in Detroit tonight…

  • I wish Jake Tapper, like Chuck Todd and other debate moderators, would just let the candidates exchange ideas about various issues, instead of sticking to some dumb rules structure. Introduce a topic, then be quiet.
  • Also, cutting off candidates while they’re addressing a topic because it didn’t fit into some randomly-generated time frame is repetitiously dumb. These TV anchor/moderators must begin realizing they are NOT the stars of these shows.
  • If you took a drink every time Jake Tapper interrupts with “Thank you, congressman” or “Thank you, senator,” you’d be blackout drunk already. I know he hosts a CNN show called SOTU, but I wish he’d just STFU.
  • “A crisis of cruelty and incompetence at the southern border.” Excellent phraseology from Pete Buttigieg.
  • I’ll donate $25 to the first of these candidates who tells any of the moderators to stop interrupting them tonight.
  • Hard to believe that Beto O’Rourke has gone a full hour in this debate without speaking a single word in Spanish. Que pasa?
  • I wonder at what point tonight Hickenlooper, Delaney, Ryan, and Bullock will realize this is the last time they will ever be on a presidential debate stage. As for Williamson, Oprah’s still not taking her calls.
  • If you’re looking for Elizabeth Warren’s foot, you’ll find it on John Delaney’s neck.
  • I’m still waiting for one of these candidates to say, “Yes, this idea will take a lot of work to implement, and it won’t be easy. But we just celebrated the 50th anniversary of putting men on the moon, one of the boldest ideas ever, which we worked hard on until we did it!”
  • So far, not one question about Mueller — who was just in front of Congress a week ago — or whether Dems should move forward with impeachment.
  • One word no one has mentioned this evening: Biden. That will change tomorrow night, when other candidates will target him. Tonight was about knocking Sanders and Warren off their perches for some of these bottom-dwellers. But Uncle Joe is still the frontrunner. Let’s see if he’ll be more prepared tomorrow night than he was for the first debate.
  • Watching Bernie Sanders tonight, I keep thinking about his one-note problem — the same themes over and over, regardless of the questions. It’s even more obvious when he’s standing next to Pete Buttigieg, who has hit the target and scored points with so many different topics.
  • Every time Marianne Williamson speaks, I expect an 800 number to pop up on the screen that you can call to get one of her prayer shawls, books, and shakra-healing yoga videos.
  • Quote of the night belonged to Elizabeth Warren, in a not-so-disguised shot at John Delaney: “I don’t understand why anybody goes to the trouble of running for president of the United States just to say all the things we can’t do and shouldn’t fight for.”

Read my snarky observations about Wednesday night’s Democratic debate here.