Over the weekend, a celebrity (who would love me to mention his name) announced he is running for president. The part-time holiday-weekend gatekeepers at many media outlets treated it like it was actual news and reported it. It is nothing more than a publicity stunt.

But here’s a fact you can append to any stories on this subject: I’m not even pretending to run, but I will receive twice as many electoral votes in the presidential campaign as this celebrity. How is that possible? Because two times zero equals zero.