I just read a piece about the problems airlines will have rebounding from the losses caused by COVID-19. They’re trying to prevent regulations forcing them to keep middle seats open and are trying to figure out which services can still be offered in flight, from snacks to magazines, etc.
The article says that RyanAir, the biggest carrier in Europe, has done away with lines for the bathrooms, because passengers shouldn’t congregate in the forced proximity of the rear of the plane while waiting for their chance on the toilet. Instead, they’ll have to raise their hands to request permission from a crew member, like a kindergartener. Ironically, airplanes and kindergartens are the only two places the word “lavatory” is still used.
Of course, there’s a downside to this plan, too. Even though you won’t be bunched up with your fellow travelers while waiting to take a leak, you will still have to walk down the aisle past all those cramped rows of who-knows-who-has-what. Even David Blaine can’t hold his breath that long.
Plus, what are the chances the airplane bathroom will be sanitized between uses? If you’ve ever been in there towards the end of a multi-hour flight, you know it’s often like a flying petri dish full of The Andromeda Strain.
This will also make it much more difficult for couples to join the Mile High Club — although, as a big and tall person, I’ve never understood how two people fit in there in the first place, let alone get comfortable enough to, um, use their thrusters.