In addition to the various politicians hoping to win the election today, there are also state and local constitutional amendments, referenda, propositions, and other ballot issues to consider. Here are ten you probably haven’t heard about — because I made them up:

  • Texas: Mexican immigrants are welcome to cross border with or without documentation, as long as they enter through Montana.
  • Utah: Legalizing recreational coffee.
  • St. Louis: A constitutional amendment limiting the number of toppings on a concrete to 4.
  • Vermont: Visitors during foliage season must pay a one-cent-per-leaf viewing tax.
  • New York City: Urine smell no longer mandatory in all subway stations.
  • Cleveland: Mental health professionals must be available for counseling at all Browns home games.
  • Chicago: In an attempt to reduce gun-related deaths, there will be a $10 deposit required on all bullets.
  • Alabama: The coin tossed at start of Crimson Tide home football games will have “Nick” on one side and “Saban” on the other.
  • Florida: A proposition imposing an extra 10% tax on anyone who contributes to the state’s image as The Home Of Knuckleheads.
  • Washington, DC: A proposal to build a drive-thru lane outside the Capitol building for lobbyists to deposit bribes without getting out of their cars.