As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Immediate question for the chief White House doctor: what dosage of hydroxychloroquine have you prescribed for the President, First Lady, and Ms. Hicks now that they’ve been infected with...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

If you’re wondering what that loud creaking noise was that you heard about an hour ago, it was Mitch McConnell getting his first erection in...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

In honor of Israel signing a “peace deal” with two countries it has never gone to war with, the St. Louis Cardinals today announced a non-aggression pact with the Edmonton Oilers and Cleveland...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Very odd. Although the content of the rest of my Twitter timeline hasn’t changed (and I haven’t done anything to the settings), as of today, all the sponsored ads are in German. Either that, or they’re from Trump supporters in their native language....
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

I don’t understand why the Liar-In-Chief hates California so much. What other state would change the color of its sky to match his facial skin...
A New Washing Machine

A New Washing Machine

Our 20-year-old washing machine died a couple of weeks ago, right in the middle of a cycle, full of soapy water and about a dozen of my shirts. It did have the courtesy to make an obnoxious buzzing sound when I tried to get it going again, but in the end, it was clear...