As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

If you’re wondering what that loud creaking noise was that you heard about an hour ago, it was Mitch McConnell getting his first erection in...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

In honor of Israel signing a “peace deal” with two countries it has never gone to war with, the St. Louis Cardinals today announced a non-aggression pact with the Edmonton Oilers and Cleveland...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Very odd. Although the content of the rest of my Twitter timeline hasn’t changed (and I haven’t done anything to the settings), as of today, all the sponsored ads are in German. Either that, or they’re from Trump supporters in their native language....
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

I don’t understand why the Liar-In-Chief hates California so much. What other state would change the color of its sky to match his facial skin...
A New Washing Machine

A New Washing Machine

Our 20-year-old washing machine died a couple of weeks ago, right in the middle of a cycle, full of soapy water and about a dozen of my shirts. It did have the courtesy to make an obnoxious buzzing sound when I tried to get it going again, but in the end, it was clear...
As I Tweeted

As I Tweeted

Only the best people got to be part of The Grifter Presidency. The perfect part of the Steve Bannon arrest story is that US Postal Service inspectors were involved in the investigation and indictment. Now, if they can just get him to pay for new mail-sorting machines....