My wife and I went for a stroll recently and encountered several people walking their dogs.

I’ve never been a fan of dogs — probably because so many chased me and nipped at my heels whenever I went out for a bike ride as a kid — so I started to move around them. However, upon noticing me, one of the larger mutts came over, put its paws on my chest and, when I pushed if off, stuck its nose directly in my crotch.

The woman who was walking the dog blurted, “Oh, Rocky, leave him alone! What’s wrong with you?”

What a stupid question! There was nothing wrong with the dog. Even as a non-canine enthusiast, I recognized that the animal was merely doing the kind of friendly gestures it’s been taught humans like. After all, those same actions with its owner would usually be rewarded with a belly rub accompanied by a “Who’s a good boy?” or maybe a treat.

The problem wasn’t the pooch, it was the human who didn’t keep her pet away from me and other passersby in the first place.

Unless the woman was going to give me a belly rub and a treat, of course.