From my Twitter feed

  • An employer once offered me a deal like Albert Pujols is getting. If I worked 250,000,000 years, they’d give me 10 dollars. 
  • Guy in a Ford commercial asks about an F-150, “Where can I get one of these?” Yeah, what kind of small secret business would sell those?
  • Funny response to Rick Perry’s anti-gay religious-zealot campaign ad.